7.22.2005

Black and White and Red: All Over

(A study in stereotypes)

A non-play

The Players: White Southerner, Young Black Man, Gun.

Act Only

Afternoon. A Bus stop.

White Southerner and Young Black Man are waiting for a bus. White Southerner is squirming, as though thinking of what to say, or how to say it.

White Southerner (White): Hey...

Young Black Man (Black): Yes?

White: Lemme ask you a question, boy.

Black: (Irritated) My name is James.

White: Boy, I got a question for ya.

Black: (Hesitates) Ok, what is it?

White: Just how do you folks make babies–you know, reproduce?

Black: (Offended) “You folks”?

White: (Speaking faster, more excited) Well, I seemta remember learnin’ in school ya’ll niggers–I mean Negroes–are only two-thirds human, so I’s just wonderin’, you know–

Black: (Scolding) It’s ignorance like yours that still tugs at the heels of social progress. I’ll have you know many African Americans are intelligent, articulate individuals who–

White: I mean, it must be as good as f**king a block ‘a cheese, man, you know? Can’t do a damn thing if yer man-parts are only two-thirds qualified, right?

White Southerner laughs boisterously for a moment, while Young Black Man’s anger begins to boil over.

White: (Still laughing) Seriously, it’s gotta be the stork all the way for you people, I mean–

Black: (Livid) That’s it: I’m ‘onna cap yo ass, bitch!

Young Black man pulls a gun from the back of his pants, and shoots White Southerner in the face.

Black: (Satisfied. Looking down at White Southerner’s body) Ign’ant hick.

Young Black Man drops the gun next to White Southerner’s body, laying in an ever-growing pool of his own blood, and walks offstage.

Gun: (Smugly) You know, who says guns don’t kill people? I rather enjoyed that!

Curtain.

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