7.05.2005

Non-Humor

A non-play

The Players: Employee, Human Resources Worker, a Health Insurance Form

Act Only

Mid-afternoon.

Employee is returning forms dealing with health insurance coverage to a Human Resources Worker.

Human Resources Worker (HR): (Pointing to six blank boxes, separated in twos by forward-slashes, on the form.) Oh, you forgot to fill in your date-of-birth.

Employee: Really? Sorry, it’s–


HR: (Interrupts, handing Employee the form and a pen.) Yeah, if you could just–

Employee: No, it’s April first; just put it in for me.


Employee turns to leave.

HR: (Amused) April first? That’s my son’s birthday. Hey, knock, kn–

Employee: Yeah, no: I don’t care.

HR: (Confused.) I’m sorry, you–?

Employee: (Turns back toward her.) Don’t care.

HR: (Visibly uncomfortable. Lowers her gaze, muttering under her breath.) Well, you don’t have to be rude about it.

Employee: (Having heard her remarks.) Beg pardon?


HR: (Embarrassed and slightly miffed.) I just figured–

Employee: (Leans slightly toward her. Softly.) Figured what?

HR: (Quietly.) That, um, someone born on April Fool’s would, you know, have a better... um, sense of humor. That’s all.

Employee: (Frustrated, fatigued.) Yeah, I don’t.

The two occupy her office in silence for several seconds.

Employee: Are we done here?

HR: (Still looking down.) Yes. Thank you.

Employee: Yeah.

Employee leaves the office promptly, steadily. HR slumps back in her chair and exhales deeply, closing her eyes.

Insurance Form: Honestly, born on April first... he could have at least listened to her #$%@ing knock-knock joke!


Curtain.

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