Abreast of Things

A non-play

The Players: Boy, Girl, Left Breast, Right Breast

Act Only

A quiet path in a park. Early evening.

Boy and Girl are walking, hand in hand, talking.

Boy: Look, let’s face it: you’re thin and you’ve got big tits. Score as high as you want on the SAT, but you’ll always have more guys wanting to get into your bra than your head.

Girl: (Horrified) That is such a guy thing to say!

Boy: And that’s a girl thing to say. What’s your point?

Girl: That is my point. (matter-of-factly) You’re not supposed to be like them.

Boy: Like who?

Girl: You know... guys who think about boobs all day. Them.

Boy: (Rolls his eyes) Yeah, ok.

Girl: (Separates herself from Boy, hits him on the arm. voice raised) I’m serious!

Boy: (Recoils. sarcastically) Hey, ow! Watch it! I was kidding. God, don’t take everything so seriously, huh?

Girl: Whatever.

Boy: (Puts his arm around her again) Look, let’s just go home, huh? (With the hand he just put around her waist, he gives Right Breast a squeeze)

Girl: Hey– (smiles at Boy, embarrassed) You’re horrible! Someone mighta seen you ...!

Boy reaches across his body with the other hand, and gives Left Breast a squeeze.

Boy: (Smiling mischievously) Yeah, well...

Girl hits Boy once more before allowing him to put his arm around her waist again as they walk offstage.

Left Breast: Damn straight–we make her look good!

Right Breast: (Concedes. irritated) Yeah, but come on, was that really necessary?



Blogger Josh said...

Beautifully written. You know you have talent, but there's no need to milk it.

12:43 PM  

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