Outdoor Cafe

A non-play

The Players: Man, Woman, Table

Act only

An outdoor cafe, a cloudy afternoon. Man and Woman have finished eating and sit in silence.

Woman: (Feigning indifferent) So that’s it, then?

Man: (Without looking up from his drink) I’ll pay for lunch.

Woman: (Stares at him for a moment) Isn’t there... couldn’t I... well? What do you have to say for yourself?

Man: Nothing, I’ve said it all.

Woman: Won’t you at least tell me why?

Man: I told you already. I’m not going to go through it again.

Woman: But–

Man: (Becoming frustrated) Look, just get up, walk over to that bus stop, there (he points, indicating offstage left) and get on the next one, the next bus.

Woman: (Stares at him for another moment, then sighs) Okay. (Slowly, slightly shaking her head) Bye.

Man does not respond. Woman stands up from the table, passively lets fall a few dollars for a tip, and exits, stage left. Man continues with his drink, looking up every so often to stare blankly into the street. After a few moments, a bus is heard to come to a stop, open its doors, close them, and drive away. Man flags down the waiter, pays for the meal, gets up from the table and exits, stage right.

Table: (Mad) What the world really needs isn’t racial cleansing, but intellectual cleansing: people that stupid should be fed their own genitals and shot.



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