A non-play

The Players: Husband, Wife, Money-clip

Act Only

Evening. A dining room.

Husband and Wife are arguing.

Wife: (Voice slightly raised. waiving papers) "What's my problem?" Don't you get it? We're fucking broke, J---!

Husband: (Calmly) I'm sorry, is your waving the bills in my face supposed to be helpful, or...?

Wife: UHH! Why do I talk to you, huh? Why?! I mean, do you care (emphasized) at all, that we have no money?

Husband: Well, if you weren't talking to me, you'd be talking to yourself...

Wife gawks at Husband for several seconds.

Wife: Just... just shut up.

Husband: (Sincerely) Come on, we'll be fine, we always are. (takes Money-clip from his pocket and toys with it, revealing to the audience that it is holding no money and that it is also a pocket-knife) I promise. (pauses. smiling) Seriously, isn't this thing cool?

Wife: (Motioning toward Money-clip) Yeah, that's great, J---. Why don't you cut your fucking balls off with that thing; at least then it'd be doing me some good.

Wife exits. Husband continues fiddling with Money-clip: he opens and closes the knife several times before setting it on the table. He exits.

Money-clip: Look at it this way, mac: without her around, you're only half as broke!



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