1.21.2006

Mechanical Difficulties

A non-play

The Players: Husband, Wife, Mechanic, Keys.


Act Only

Afternoon. An autobody shop.

Husband and Wife are talking to Mechanic, who is holding Keys.

Mechanic: I'm afraid I can't let you folks leave here in this car.

Wife gasps.

Husband: (Indignant) What?! Why the hell not? (He leans in toward Mechanic)

Mechanic: (Matter-of-factly)Well, the (mechanical gibberish) is all clogged up–do you know, it's coated almost entirely in black?!–and it's got (more gibberish) leakin' every which where... Thing is, it's liable to explode at any time. (Wife gasps again) You drive it off my lot, and you could blow up fifteen yards down the street.

Husband and Wife stare and Mechanic. They say nothing.

Mechanic: You think I wanna be dreamin' about that tonight? No, sir. (Nods to Wife) Ma'am.

Wife: (Whispering to Husband) Honey, I think we need to take the car to someone else...

Husband: (To Mechanic. Angrily) Yeah, we're leaving. (Holds out his right hand) Give me the keys.

Mechanic: (Sincerely) Oh, sir, I really can't–

Husband: (Louder) Now!

Mechanic: (Pauses) Ok...

Husband snatches Keys from Mechanic's hand, he and Wife get in to the car, and they drive out of the shop's lot. Several seconds later, an explosion is heard; Mechanic winces slightly.

Mechanic: (Remorsefully) I tried to warn them...

Keys: (Offstage. Smoldering) That's my line, asshole!

Curtain.

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